My desire to go has come, and to me bread is necessary

In my last post I mused on gender in language. This time around I'm pondering self-centeredness.

From what I can tell the Kyrgyz language has no modal verbs such as want, will, should, can and must. English is filled with these. I want to go. I need a jacket. You shouldn't lick doorknobs. In Kyrgyz, adverbs replace the verbs and make statements more indirect.

Commands, for example, sound more like suggestions. You should go, becomes "if you would go, it would be good." I don't want to go, becomes "my desire to go has not come." Kyrgyz speakers do not have things either. Instead, things exist. I have a cat, becomes "My cat exists."

If people in this region value the needs of the collective over the needs of the individual, the language seems to reflect this by removing "I" entirely. The self is only implied through its relation to a desire, need or possession.

I'm going to have to change the way I think, before I open my mouth.

In other news, Why I Will Be Okay.

1. Bring on the fried goat and fermented milk! I'm not a fan of American food anyway.

2. I already only shower once a month and, I've been assured, don't offend the noses.

3. Two beers cans = one camp stove. I try to be crafty.

4. I've lived in the city. I've been mugged, frozen, lost, assaulted, hit by car doors and dined out of dumpsters. I've lived in the country. I've fought chickens for eggs, dug cat holes in the dirt, climbed mountains, butchered pigs and run for miles. I'm privileged as an American, but this apartment still doesn't have hot water, reliable plumbing or a bathroom door.

5. I have so much love from my friends, family, colleagues and partner. Just knowing this keeps me going through hard times.

Also,

6. No worries.

It's a phrase that falls from my lips at least once a day, partly because it has become my automatic response to all of life's mishaps, but mostly because I truly believe in the wisdom of letting go of what things we can't, shouldn't and don't need to control.

I depart this weekend for three months of intensive training, so for now, no news is good news!